This thought came to mind this morning as I was having devotions and reading the story of Mystic Salazar on Monday4. I pray these words, though not articulated as well as I would like, might be of some encouragement for someone.
Sudden loss is a thought that came to mind as I thought of the many members today who have expereinced the loss of a loved one overnight or in a blind second and what it means to us.
I remember when my middle brother disappeared as a child back in the 60's in a small of Hahira, Georgia. Community was different back then much closer. The authorities came to the school with mom who got us out of school for the search. I remember running across the playground crying and screaming my brother's name. The whole town turned out for the search. There wasn't a street that didn't have people looking. I remember the whole elementary section of school turned out for the search along with the faculty. The town froze as one of it's own sons was missing.
Fortunately, my brother, just barely walking, was found by a store merchant walking on the side of the road a couple of miles out of town with a mouthfull of Coke bottle tops, the metal kind back then.
Mom cried convulsively as she held him in her arms so sick she was bed-ridden for days from the episode of the sudden loss.
Sudden loss has been described as the loudest absence one could ever imagine, a line drawn without our permissoin.
Those experiencing it say you don't grieve because you can't yet. It's like you're in free fall. There are moms and dads who have been searching for thier child or children for years and some have just got the news of a sudden loss.
One of the weightiest loads on mothers and dads is wondering "what if" or what could they have done to have prevented this from happenieng. I wish I could just say to you that it is human and natural for you to feel this way and make it all better but saying it doesn't always help. But it is natural. It is difficult to not blame outselves.
The biggest question asked is how do I go on. Families, partucularly mothers and fathers who love their children are in limbo. They don't know where to go and they feel guilty about going on with life as they search for the missing.
Meaning to encourage you I would say that sometimes doing normal things gives you some normalcy. Ask yourself what would she or he wish you to be doing right now?
Grieving parents over a missing child has thousands of questions. We want to blame to someone. It is normal to blame the perpetrator if one is known. But most of the time a mother has only a blank face to think of and be angry with. Fearful thoughts bombard the mind are they ok where are they.
We can understand the brown leaves on the trees of autumn or fall. But it is difficult to grasp the felling of a green tree in spring or the falling of green leaves in summer. It just doesn't happen. It is against nature and the missing of a child is as against our nature as seeing brown leaves in summer time.
In many cases we turn to the justice system and engross ourselves in the searches. We constantly wonder are the authorities doing everything they can?
As friends of the families of missing loved ones we can help by...just helping. As a boy growing up in a close community friends didn't ask what could they do to help in a situation they just did. It was no mystery. Neighbors cooked and fed the kids, washed the clothes, bought groceries, took the kids to school, ran errands,even cleaned the house.
Now we are scattered not blocks away but cities even states away so we ask what can we do.
I believe the Peace4 has hit upon a solution to help create caring groups in every state and every county where the members trained and jumping right into action can help ease some of the suffering and grief felt when a loved one, a child, or adult goes missing.
God bless the members and groups of Peace4 who are generously taking a much needed personal stance on this issue and God bless and keep our babies.
Jim